Wow...time flies when your body decides to freak out!!

It has been a year and a half since I wrote anything...I think the last blog I wrote was me being all excited about 2012 being the best year ever!! Hahahahahahahaha.....boy was I wrong!! Soon after that, I was really, really, sick and could not, for the life of me...or my doctors, figure out what the hell was going on. That was in January when I was all excited, but as soon as February rolled around, I was sick as a dog and literally thought that I was losing my mind. It took several bouts of pneumonia and some really weird symptoms and months of craziness to figure out what was going on. On July7th, I went to the ER in Oregon because, one again, I was sick with pneumonia again and my blood pressure was sky high! They gave me meds and sent me home....the next day...I drove myself to the ER again and promptly told them that I could not breathe, my body was shaking, I was sweating profusely all the time, my heart was racing,  I was losing weight like it was nothing to do, my BP was sky high and I was a basket case. They admitted me that day and kept me a week on massive amounts of antibiotics, fluid pills, blood thinners, you name it, I was on it. I told the doctor every symptom that I was having and for how long and she started asking questions, the other doctors just gave me meds, she dug and dug until she found a diagnoses of Graves Disease. Graves disease is a very hyper-active Thyroid, it's an autoimmune disorder that makes your body attack your thyroid and it produces too much hormone, which by the way, affects every cell in your body!! Wow...didn't see that one coming! I went home after a week and the very next day, I was brought back to the hospital, by ambulance, in heart failure and my oxygen level was 82. I couldn't hardly use my legs and I was so weak, that I could barely stay awake. That was absolutely the scariest thing that I have ever been through. I was in the hospital another week and then I felt well enough to go home, but it took a long time for me to regain my strength and to get my levels on a more even keel. My sister came to stay with me until I was stronger and more stable and that helped tremendously!

I had radioactive iodine treatments in November to kill my thyroid and that has helped some, but I am still having problems. My hair fell out, I've gained 45 lbs., I have panic attacks that are painful, my blood pressure is still high, and I could just go on and on....but.....I'm still here, I still try to eat as organically and natural as I can, I am feeling like I could exercise again, and my attitude about my body has changed...I now feel more worthy of all the special treatment that I give to taking care of myself, I look at life differently...it's way more precious now, and I've stopped caring and stressing about what other people think of me!! That last one is great...it opened my life to a whole new freedom from stress, pressure, and people who are going to drag me down with their bitching and whining about what I'm doing and why. I will always have to deal with this illness, I'll have struggles and I'll still get sick, but after being so sick, for so long, I figure that if I just get up everyday and deal with whatever symptom I am having, then I can just move forward and live my life! That is all I want...to just live and not just exist.I decided that putting my health first and the "stuff" that drags me down last, then I'm going to be ok.

So here's to getting healthy again and getting back to the things I love about my life! I sincerely hope that this year is the best year yet...I hope that things will go my way...at least sometimes, and if they don't, then so be it, I'm still going to live my life. I am hoping to strengthen my marriage, save a little money, start writing again, cooking up a storm, spending more time with my kids and grandkids, and just allowing myself to just be me. I'll be back...see you soon!!

The Cultural Dish: Lemon Coffee Cake

The Cultural Dish: Lemon Coffee Cake: It is finally that time of year again where the summer foods are beginning to make an appearance and there is an abundance of fresh fruits...


Check her blog out, this cake looks fabulous!

Beast Mode!!

Hello From Sunny L.A.!! Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you...hubby and I have had so much going on that I have just thrown things to the wayside! We left Oregon and traveled down Hwy 1 to get to L.A. I just have to say...that was the most beautiful drive I have ever taken! The drive should have only taken us a couple of days, but we stopped so much, that it ended up taking us almost 5 days to get there! If you ever get the chance to take that drive...I suggest you jump on it!
The other thing that's been going on is hubby and I have finally decided to make lifestyle changes, big ones, seriously! We have changed our diet...really changed it...and have begun exercising...on a regular basis! We kept saying that last year when we were in NY and we did eat pretty good and we exercised...most of the time, but that was us just being lazy and not really wanting to go ALL THE WAY with the changes! That has changed, mostly because of my getting really sick and staying that way for two months. I felt so bad and all the coughing and wheezing really scared me. I do not want to be sick all the time, I want to be able to walk without huffing and puffing, I want to be able to go out and do what ever it is that I want without feeling slow, out of breath, and just generally out of shape.
The things we have changed is we've stopped the sugar...all together because sugar is sugar and I refuse to use artificial sweeteners. It is probably the hardest thing for me to take away because I love sweets and even more so..my sweet tea! Yikes...that is a hard one. We have also stopped eating all the white stuff... bread, pasta, flour, rice..etc. and that hasn't been too bad, thank goodness! Another thing we've changed is the red meat, this is just temporarily until we get things under control. I've been eating turkey, chicken, and fish...all organic of course! The biggest thing we've changed is vegetables!! We have always eaten all of our veggies, we love them, but now they are making up most of what we eat, some cooked, some raw, and some as juice! The whole juicing thing is very exciting to me....not sure why, but I've been researching a lot and it looks like something I want to add to my diet everyday!
So, with all that said...I am off to walk my booty off and to enjoy a great salad I made for lunch. I am hoping to be here more and more and to start adding those pictures, recipes, and posts that I've been talking about. Until next time, I hope you are happy and healthy! Have a great day!
Here are just a few of my favorite pics from along the way!

Off we go!!

Hubby and I are leaving for L.A. on Saturday. We'll be traveling for a day or so and then once I get settled in I'll be posting again. I had a huge panic attack today...don't know why and it has been a long time since I've had one....hubby says I need to get back to my regular exercise program...I'm pretty sure he is right! I am feeling better now though and am hoping that by the time we get there, the weather will be nicer and my cold/allergy mess will be going away! I know this is short, but I'll be back on here in a few days....until then, I hope you are happy, safe, and healthy!

New Adventures

Well, it looks like hubby and I are starting the new year with a trip to southern California! We just got word that his job is just about done here and we'll be going to L.A. for the next one. I really like it here in Oregon, and we've gotten to see alot of beautiful sights here, but I have been sick the entire time here and I really think that there is something here that is making me feel sick all the time, so with that said.....Look out L.A.....here we come!
For those of you that do not know, my husband travels all over the country for his job. We never know where the next job will be or how long we'll be there. We may be somewhere for a month or even up to a year, it just depends on the job he is doing or how aggressive his schedule is. Yes...it is crazy, but it's also nice too! The kids are all out of the house and this is our time to get to know each other again as just a couple without all the goings on of raising kids and all the things that go with raising them. I loved being a stay at home mom and my kids are my world, but things get crazy and people get busy and it's hard to have a relationship with your partner when you are so busy or so tired that it just gets pushed aside. So here we are...getting on the road again and going to a new place to see new things and to meet new people!
I do love to travel and see new places, but the living part of it is kinda tricky. I am a very routine in everything I do and all this change makes me a little crazy...I am pretty much a homebody, so I try to make our hotel stays as much like home as I can get it! We usually stay at Extend stay hotels, they have more room, a small kitchen, and feel more like a small apartment. If I can cook and get out and about in a nice area, then I am good to go! My hubby laughs at me because I would rather cook my own food and I drag my little toaster oven everywhere we go! He calls it my Suzy Bake Oven! I also have a George Foreman Grill and and a few travel pots and pans that I like to use. With all of that, I can make anything I want to eat and I don't have to eat junk all the time and I don't have to worry about all the weird stuff they put in my food! I am hoping that by the time we are ready to settle down and retire we are in the best shape of our lives. I do not want to be sick and worn out in my retirement years!
So with all that said...here's to traveling to new places and meeting new people. I am ready for the new year of traveling, living my dreams out and to making my life the best it has ever been!  Looking forward to getting my blog in shape and to bringing some good things your way! Until next time, be safe, be healthy, and be good!

Bring it on 2012!!

Whew!! 2011 was quite the year and I am so happy to have a brand new year to start fresh. I haven't had the best of years for the last three years and I am finally excited to see a new year roll around. I can actually say that 2012 is looking pretty exciting so far and I am going to do my best to make this year the best it's ever been! I don't ever make resolutions, because I know myself and I know that if I really don't want to do something, then I won't and I'm sure not going to tell the world or myself that I'm going to do something just to end up feeling crappy about myself for not doing it!
This new year I am going to make life changes, changes that have been coming for awhile. I just want to be healthy and happy and I want to actually be bold in everything I do. I've been hiding from life for awhile and it really is time to just put all the hurt and the pain behind me and just go for whatever it is I want. I want to run a marathon, I want to stop smoking, I want to finish that book I've been working on, and I want to give back to the world everything good it has given me! I've been working an my education for awhile....too long...I've put it aside to help other people or just because I kept thinking I just couldn't do it! I want to rid myself of all the negative things and people that are holding me back!  Wow...that's a lot right?  I think I can do it though...in fact I know I can! I did it before all the craziness of life set in...I can do it again. 
Something else I have been afraid to do....I've had a facebook page done for a few months now and I've never published it! Why?? I don't know...fear of failure...what will I say? Do I really have anything interesting to say?  Will nobody like my page?? Ha Ha...is that not crazy thinking? You would think I was a teenager again..worrying about who, if anyone, likes me! I know...it is crazy and that behavior is stopping right now!!
So...off we go into a brand new year, full of promise and excitement and a fierce attitude towards this life in 2012! My hope is that I will accomplish everything I've set out to do and to do it boldly and without care of what other people are thinking or saying to me! I wish you all happiness, health, and peace in your lives! Until next time...Happy New Year and may all your days be sweet and confident!

Being grateful in times of trial and tribulation.

I don't know about you, but it has been hard for me to feel grateful during the hard times in my life. I've had so many things that have happened to me or the people that I love that it just seems like I'm being picked on at times. I've gone through losing loved ones to watching my child suffer and not being able to do anything about it! I've gone through being sick all the time, being rejected by someone I love or just fighting depression. I've had people say mean things about me and I have been my own worst critic...which is the worst thing I could possibly do to myself! I am my own worst critic and it has been a long battle...with myself...to overcome the horrible way that I've talked to myself. I don't know where this attitude of "crap talk" came from...I grew up being told that I could do or be anything I wanted to. I didn't have people talking that nonsense to me...I've just always been a sensitive person and I've always been a helper to anyone that need it. Somewhere along the way, something happened and I started to feel defeated and useless. Crazy huh?
It has taken me a long time and a lot of heartache to pull the strength that its in me and to start using it in my life on a daily basis. I have learned that you are stronger then you think and that God has a plan. I've learned to stop questioning everything and to just be quiet long enough to hear what God is telling me...and you know what?? Once I learned that...I actually started hearing the good stuff instead of the bad stuff. I have learned that it is ok to make mistakes, it's ok to fail, it's ok to have a bad day. I've learned to throw out the ugly and replace it with love and forgiveness. I guess I've always thought that if things in my life don't go well, then it must be my fault..right?? No..it is not my fault...it is just what it is!
I still struggle everyday to stay on top of eating healthy, getting some kind of exercise, and to just be ok with whatever comes my way.  Yes, my parents are no longer here and I miss them terribly, but they have taught me all the good and important things that I now need to teach my own children. My son is still struggling and having problems, but he is alive and healthy and his attitude all throughout his ordeal has taught me lessons that no one else in this would could have taught me! So yes...I am thankful everyday for everything..the good and the bad and I am making it a point to show that to everyone I come across. We all think that our lives are full of problems and maybe they are, but someone, somewhere out there has it a whole lot worse than we do and I plan on trying to help anyone that needs it, because I feel like I need to give back some of the love and mercy that I've been given. There are so many people in this world that just need a kind word or a hug and giving them something  makes me feel very happy. So, I am grateful for the happy heart that I've been given and I am grateful for all the good and bad in my life because I know that there is a plan in the works here and it's up to me to make sure that I don't miss a thing and I never want to have an ungrateful heart...I would rather go through all the crap and learn from it and allow it to make me a better person. So when you are feeling yucky about yourself and your life....think about all the people in this world that are suffering on a daily basis and say a little prayer for them and yourself because you are important and you are always loved!
I am praying the new year brings me up a little more from the pit I've been in this past month and that my health is better too! I hope you all have a healthy, happy, Christmas this year with your loved ones, but remember, love yourself and give yourself a break....you deserve it!