It has been a year and a half since I wrote anything...I think the last blog I wrote was me being all excited about 2012 being the best year ever!! Hahahahahahahaha.....boy was I wrong!! Soon after that, I was really, really, sick and could not, for the life of me...or my doctors, figure out what the hell was going on. That was in January when I was all excited, but as soon as February rolled around, I was sick as a dog and literally thought that I was losing my mind. It took several bouts of pneumonia and some really weird symptoms and months of craziness to figure out what was going on. On July7th, I went to the ER in Oregon because, one again, I was sick with pneumonia again and my blood pressure was sky high! They gave me meds and sent me home....the next day...I drove myself to the ER again and promptly told them that I could not breathe, my body was shaking, I was sweating profusely all the time, my heart was racing, I was losing weight like it was nothing to do, my BP was sky high and I was a basket case. They admitted me that day and kept me a week on massive amounts of antibiotics, fluid pills, blood thinners, you name it, I was on it. I told the doctor every symptom that I was having and for how long and she started asking questions, the other doctors just gave me meds, she dug and dug until she found a diagnoses of Graves Disease. Graves disease is a very hyper-active Thyroid, it's an autoimmune disorder that makes your body attack your thyroid and it produces too much hormone, which by the way, affects every cell in your body!! Wow...didn't see that one coming! I went home after a week and the very next day, I was brought back to the hospital, by ambulance, in heart failure and my oxygen level was 82. I couldn't hardly use my legs and I was so weak, that I could barely stay awake. That was absolutely the scariest thing that I have ever been through. I was in the hospital another week and then I felt well enough to go home, but it took a long time for me to regain my strength and to get my levels on a more even keel. My sister came to stay with me until I was stronger and more stable and that helped tremendously!
I had radioactive iodine treatments in November to kill my thyroid and that has helped some, but I am still having problems. My hair fell out, I've gained 45 lbs., I have panic attacks that are painful, my blood pressure is still high, and I could just go on and on....but.....I'm still here, I still try to eat as organically and natural as I can, I am feeling like I could exercise again, and my attitude about my body has changed...I now feel more worthy of all the special treatment that I give to taking care of myself, I look at life differently...it's way more precious now, and I've stopped caring and stressing about what other people think of me!! That last one is great...it opened my life to a whole new freedom from stress, pressure, and people who are going to drag me down with their bitching and whining about what I'm doing and why. I will always have to deal with this illness, I'll have struggles and I'll still get sick, but after being so sick, for so long, I figure that if I just get up everyday and deal with whatever symptom I am having, then I can just move forward and live my life! That is all I want...to just live and not just exist.I decided that putting my health first and the "stuff" that drags me down last, then I'm going to be ok.
So here's to getting healthy again and getting back to the things I love about my life! I sincerely hope that this year is the best year yet...I hope that things will go my way...at least sometimes, and if they don't, then so be it, I'm still going to live my life. I am hoping to strengthen my marriage, save a little money, start writing again, cooking up a storm, spending more time with my kids and grandkids, and just allowing myself to just be me. I'll be back...see you soon!!
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