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Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Being grateful in times of trial and tribulation.

I don't know about you, but it has been hard for me to feel grateful during the hard times in my life. I've had so many things that have happened to me or the people that I love that it just seems like I'm being picked on at times. I've gone through losing loved ones to watching my child suffer and not being able to do anything about it! I've gone through being sick all the time, being rejected by someone I love or just fighting depression. I've had people say mean things about me and I have been my own worst critic...which is the worst thing I could possibly do to myself! I am my own worst critic and it has been a long battle...with overcome the horrible way that I've talked to myself. I don't know where this attitude of "crap talk" came from...I grew up being told that I could do or be anything I wanted to. I didn't have people talking that nonsense to me...I've just always been a sensitive person and I've always been a helper to anyone that need it. Somewhere along the way, something happened and I started to feel defeated and useless. Crazy huh?
It has taken me a long time and a lot of heartache to pull the strength that its in me and to start using it in my life on a daily basis. I have learned that you are stronger then you think and that God has a plan. I've learned to stop questioning everything and to just be quiet long enough to hear what God is telling me...and you know what?? Once I learned that...I actually started hearing the good stuff instead of the bad stuff. I have learned that it is ok to make mistakes, it's ok to fail, it's ok to have a bad day. I've learned to throw out the ugly and replace it with love and forgiveness. I guess I've always thought that if things in my life don't go well, then it must be my fault..right?? is not my is just what it is!
I still struggle everyday to stay on top of eating healthy, getting some kind of exercise, and to just be ok with whatever comes my way.  Yes, my parents are no longer here and I miss them terribly, but they have taught me all the good and important things that I now need to teach my own children. My son is still struggling and having problems, but he is alive and healthy and his attitude all throughout his ordeal has taught me lessons that no one else in this would could have taught me! So yes...I am thankful everyday for everything..the good and the bad and I am making it a point to show that to everyone I come across. We all think that our lives are full of problems and maybe they are, but someone, somewhere out there has it a whole lot worse than we do and I plan on trying to help anyone that needs it, because I feel like I need to give back some of the love and mercy that I've been given. There are so many people in this world that just need a kind word or a hug and giving them something  makes me feel very happy. So, I am grateful for the happy heart that I've been given and I am grateful for all the good and bad in my life because I know that there is a plan in the works here and it's up to me to make sure that I don't miss a thing and I never want to have an ungrateful heart...I would rather go through all the crap and learn from it and allow it to make me a better person. So when you are feeling yucky about yourself and your life....think about all the people in this world that are suffering on a daily basis and say a little prayer for them and yourself because you are important and you are always loved!
I am praying the new year brings me up a little more from the pit I've been in this past month and that my health is better too! I hope you all have a healthy, happy, Christmas this year with your loved ones, but remember, love yourself and give yourself a deserve it!

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Happy Birthday Dad!!

Today would have been my dad's 64th birthday. He passed away earlier this year from a very long battle with his health and it's feels as though it was yesterday. I took care of him in the last months of his life and even though it was very hard to watch him be so sick, I would do it all over again. The time that I had with him is priceless and I wouldn't trade it for anything! I just want to tell you that my dad was the best guy I know. He always made sure that we knew that he loved us and was proud to be our dad. He loved to tell stories and had the best sense of humor. He made us laugh everyday. He was also the best grandpa ever. My kids were so spoiled and never wanted for anything because PaPa made sure his babies always had what they wanted...even if I didn't agree! He was always supportive of me and my dreams and never discouraged me from trying anything new..even if he didn't understand why I needed to do this or that with my life! He was a great friend and mentor to my husband and it was so nice for  them to be so close. I wanted to share this because it has been hard on me and I haven't really been able to say or write anything until now, but I do know that he is happy now and there is no more pain or sickness for him and hopefully he and Mom are up there watching over us, probably laughing at our crazy life, but at the same time, being proud of all of us too! So here's to you Dad....Happy Birthday! We love you and we miss you terribly, but I know that you are still here in my heart and you always will be!

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Meatball sliders

I got this idea from Rich and Sweet on Facebook and they are so good! Enjoy!

Meatball sliders

1 lb of hamburger meat
1 lb of Italian sausage
chopped onion
garlic salt
Italian bread crumbs...1/2 cup
1 egg
mix all this together and form meatballs, I baked mine in the oven until done.
When done, put in a small pot with marinara sauce and let it cook on low while you get the other stuff ready.

I used roasted garlic sourdough bread and sliced it into 1/2 in pieces.
I then rubbed it with butter and browned it in a pan.

Put the meatball and sauce on top of bread and top with fresh mozzarella. Place on a baking dish and bake at 350 for about 20 minutes and then broil them to brown the cheese just until browned.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

I am still here!!

Hi all~
It's been a very long month or so for me. I haven't posted since the beginning of November and I am feeling very "out of the loop" right now. I have been sick for most of the month of November and I am still trying to recover from whatever this crud is that I have. I am not sure what is going on with my body these days, but I am seriously thinking that I need to see a specialist about my immune system. I've had problems for awhile now, but it has really gotten out of control with all the illnesses I've had lately.
Also, this time of year has me a little blue. It's hard being without my parents and knowing that their birthdays are in December and that Christmas is my mom's favorite holiday....well, that just makes it rough! I am also away from my family and that is hard too, but I am still trying to eat healthy and still trying to walk as much as I can. I haven't been able to exercise much due to the horrible cough that I've had and am still dealing with.
So...with that said, I hope you can wait for me to get back to my normal, crazy, self and keep me in your prayers too! I'll be here when I can and I do have many plans on what to write in my blog, I just need to feel better and keep my attitude as positive as I can. In the mean time, I hope you all are happy, safe, and healthy!